bitesizedprodigy:

…!

R-right…

[Yeah. That was true. Sometimes she still couldn’t believe Acro had actually killed someone. A man like him. It just didn’t seem right. Of course, the whole situation had been thoroughly explained to her, and she understood why it had happened. Grief. That was one of the most powerful emotions she had ever encountered. It effected her more than anything else ever had. She saw how it had effected others too. To drive her to the brink of death. To drive a perfectly kind man to take another man’s life. It was frightening. 

Unfortunately, Franziska was one to run away from things when they became too much to bear. It was only logical. In order not to be hurt by such an emotion she would have to destroy it’s ability to hurt her. In order to do that she needed to run away from this place, and from these people. She needed to stay in Germany where things weren’t so hard on her heart. In Germany where she had no friends, where she sheltered and secluded herself on purpose, and where there were no loved ones that could break her heart. It was a lonely path, but it was the path that would hurt her less in the long run.

Her face flushed slightly. She was embarrassed.] 

Yeah. I’ve never liked hospitals very much. I’ve never actually been in one for anything of serious nature, not that I can remember anyway. Now… I am dependent on this place, and these machines, and the staff for my life. It isn’t a comfortable position to be in. I’d really like to leave soon. I can’t stand it here. 

[She pouted.] I am not supposed to make mistakes. And this is a bit beyond a mistake. This isn’t, “Oops. I forgot your birthday.” This is just… I can’t recover from this. I know you are wrong, Ken. It is inexcusable, and irreparable. Even if it was unintentional. Even if I’m sorry. Even if I do my very best… This isn’t going to go away. It is… upsetting. I just can’t get over that fact.

[She tried not to let Acro’s kind words get to her. She was especially emotional right now. The last things she wanted to do was cry in front of him. Franziska had to think for a minute. So they loved her. They thought she was a good friend anyways. And they both did come here to see her when they didn’t have to. Even with those facts in her mind, she still found it hard to believe. In her mind no matter how much people liked each other they would leave in the end if they felt they had to. It was what Miles did, and they were practically related. These men had their own lives, and certainly held no obligation to her, even if they think they do.]

That is all… debatable. 

… But thank you. That’s nice of you to say. 

[She was floored by Acro’s question. She hadn’t really given such a thing much thought. It wasn’t the first time she had been asked such a question either. She recalled having a conversation like this before with Angel. The detective was adamant on her stance that people needed other people, while Franziska believed people were fine on their own, and better off independent. Since then she had slowly learned how much she enjoyed having people in her life she could care about, and who cared about her in return. She learned that she liked being able to count on others, and not be totally alone. She even learned that she secretly relied on her brother to keep her grounded and stable. She needed people more than she knew, but could life be worth living without them? Could she manage such a feat? She still wasn’t sure. She was still thinking about it.]

I don’t know, Ken. I wish I had an answer. It can’t be as awful as it sounds.

[Her eyes widened suddenly when he said that. That was right! His brother was in a coma for the longest time… And then he abandoned him. That must have been rough. It seems they had more in common than she thought. Except of course he was still living in that reality, while she had just been duped. At least she understood those feelings briefly. She knew more now where Acro was coming from. It was hard. Especially when their siblings were all they had left for family.

Franziska decided against breaching that topic. She didn’t want to cause him any painful thoughts about Bat. That wouldn’t be fair. Even if he remained happy that he was okay, and hopeful that he would return someday, he still must have been hurt by it all. It was only natural. It must have been miserable knowing you had a loved one out there in so much pain and unable to confide in you. Franziska thought then like she thought now. They should be sticking together no matter that. That was what family was supposed to do. No matter how hard things got they had to at least trust in each other, because if you couldn’t, than who could you truly trust in the world?

Franziska strongly believed that, and it was just another reason why Miles’ actions had upset her so deeply. That trust that she thought was there didn’t exist. It just felt like she cared for him a lot more than the other way around. She just wished she had the chance to try. She thought of things she would have tried to say to him. She would never know if they would have helped or not.]

Well… no. It isn’t just Max. Obviously that took place after the bigger issue. I’m a lot of things right now. Not so much sad… I’m overwhelmed with all of these emotions that I’m not used to feeling, and I’m not sure how to handle them. Honestly, I’m not exactly sure how I should feel right now. I mostly feel very angry. It is easy to be angry right now, but then I feel very hurt. So maybe I should feel more sad and less angry. I can’t really tell. 

[She shot the acrobat a glare at the mention of her future version.]

Let’s not talk about that right now. I’ve met two of those idiots and they’re exactly the same… Idiots. Of course I’m nothing like them! I know better. But I know them a lot more than you think I do. I know what makes them tick. They are hardly over their issues… they are disgraceful. And that is very debatable indeed. A good person doesn’t do the things they’ve done.

[Although… I wonder if they went through this too. Maybe… well it depends on Miles, doesn’t it? Or does it? Ugh. I hate this stupid paradox nonsense. I certainly won’t miss it once I’ve returned home. Does this make me as stupid as them? Or are we all more impulsive than we thought… or was it… just me this time? Maybe I’m uniquely stupid compared to those two. Dammit. I’m starting to realize that we aren’t all the same. That had better not be the case. This was all just a mistake after all.]

Good. That’s what real friends do. I won’t have to worry about you guys so much while I’m gone if I know you’ll keep an eye on each other. 

[She took notice of his more emotional reaction, but tried not to made a big deal about it. She didn’t want to embarrass him or anything. Tears were something that embarrassed her normally. A sign of weakness according to how she was raised. However, it was just a compliment, and he was probably moved somewhat. No big deal. She smiled when he chuckled about it while wiping his eyes dry.]

… We will see.

[When she went to explain some of what happened it was somewhat comforting to her to talk to Acro of all people. At least he would understand how it felt to lose your brother specifically, and even more so the last of your family you had to count on. He could sympathize with how she felt in that moment more than anyone else. It was comforting. She didn’t feel so alone. Feeling his hand on her own she felt her face flush out of embarrassment. She was quite clearly broken down by all of this. She was taught to be ashamed of these things. That made it hard to share the story. It felt nice to be comforted anyways. She just wished there was some other way. Hopefully getting it all out of her system proved to be more helpful than she thought it would be.

She shook her head at his comforting words. She wished she could believe them but she knew better. She sighed.]

I wish that were true, Ken. I… I’ve always been a terrible sister to him, quite honestly. I shouldn’t be surprised he wouldn’t want to talk to me. Even when we were kids I was always exceptionally cruel to him because I always felt threatened by him. Papa always preferred him over myself… I was always on my own. We did have plenty of good times too however. But… when push came to shove I was always trying to put him down, and be superior to him. I just… wanted more attention, I wanted them to realize I was good enough too, and it just never worked. I started to just assume there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t really fair to anyone really. The person to blame for that is Manfred. It took me awhile, but I eventually came to understand that, and that is why I tried so hard to let Miles know that in spite of the unpleasant things… I love him. Ahem. Loved him. 

… It was too little too late, I guess. 

[There was a little more to it than that, but that was as much as Acro would be able to understand from an outsider’s perspective. There was that invisible bond that always seemed to be there. Just from living with a person you learn a lot about them, and they learn a lot about you too. Growing up in the von Karma household and getting to where they are now is no easy feat. They just had that in common. That silent understanding, and mutual respect for the other. There was always that competitive feeling there too. Maybe that was one sided, but Franziska needed that; it pushed her to do so much better. There was also that incredibly happy feeling she felt when he was around. She had learned not to show it, but that didn’t mean it didn’t exist in her heart. It made this so damn difficult too.]

Y-yeah… I… Well, I can guess where he is coming from. I… I understand. And maybe the way his actions felt to me weren’t his intentions, but how am I supposed to feel when I find out he was suffering… truly suffering right there next to me, and he couldn’t even… just try to talk to me? I’m not a mind reader. I can have hunches, but I never could have imagined the severity of it all without some insight… I mean… I was right there… It was the last time he ever wanted to see someone… He couldn’t have tried, one last effort to save his own life? I don’t get it. I would have done… just anything. Anything in my power. I know I could never take his pain away… b-but… I… 

[She had to squeeze her eyes shut to keep from crying, and found herself griping onto Acro’s hand as the more powerful emotions took over.]

… He is my brother, and I love him. And maybe that was all I could ever do for him… and that didn’t mean anything in the end, and that is why I say I was not good enough. It hurts, Ken. It hurts… more than anything. The sense of utter worthlessness… It is worse than anything I’ve ever felt. Even when I think about the horror I put myself through several nights ago… It doesn’t even compare, and that is frightening. 

[She shook her head as tears fell. What was the point of even fighting them anymore anyways? She had let her guard down now. There wasn’t anything that could really stop them. She always felt that people were judging her on these things. These weaknesses. But how could she even pretend to be strong when she was at her weakest point yet?]

And in the end… I just feel very selfish. I can only try to look at this situation from other people’s perspective, but I can only see it best from my own. My father… is a murderer. A killer. A very evil man. Not because he is a killer but because he has no remorse for his actions, and is not paying for his crime. The man I’ve loved and tried to be like my entire life… He has been playing everyone like a fiddle. He’s made fools out of all of us through sheer cleverness… and insanity. You think… I like being associated with that? My own papa. And that is all I’m ever going to be known for. You know how I know? That is exactly how Miles Edgeworth sees it too.

[His words… his own words. He said it himself just today. Merely a few hours ago. She had assumed so, but then he had told her, and it was just so much worse. Words she wouldn’t ever forget, because what they meant… was a terrible offence that she had no control over. Even worse so was that it would never go away. It would never change. She could never be anything but Manfred von Karma’s daughter. Her existence… mocked him. Reminded him of nothing but pain. As if that was all she was. It just wasn’t fair.

“Franziska, looking at you back then… it was painful. It was a constant reminder of how much of a lie my life was. I know—you weren’t even involved but my brain already made that unfair connection and I couldn’t stop it. I felt terrible about it, I almost couldn’t look at you, let alone talk to you about everything that your own father had caused.”]

I feel so confused now… lost. The path was so clear to me back then… I had been walking it with my head so high in the clouds… and now… I don’t have a father anymore, and I almost didn’t have a brother anymore either. He wasn’t the only one who hurt because of this. I needed him too. I needed him… to tell me everything was going to be okay, and that we would get through things. It wouldn’t mean anything coming from anyone else but him… only he knows. And the stupidest thing he could have done was separate us the way he had intended!

I know what Manfred did was wrong. I hate him for what he did. I disassociated myself from him. I’ve been bettering myself. I still accepted Miles for his losses in court even though that was a very taboo thing for us… because I’ve learned that there is more to life and prosecuting than a perfect win record. I’ve done… all I can do, and I’m still trying so hard. I’ve been burdened with this for a very long time, but I’ve been trying. And the second he found out he goes and kills himself! It just means all I’ve done was for absolutely nothing. I’ll never be anything more than Manfred von Karma’s daughter.

To be honest I would rather Papa be dead than plaguing this earth and hurting everyone like this. I never wanted any of this to happen. I didn’t want to become this burden for Miles… I just wanted… needed my brother. That was all. I’m so pathetic. I should have been stronger, but it has been so overwhelming. I never took into account that Miles would be capable of anything of such magnitude. … I foolishly assumed he would always be there.

[Franziska remembered how she was in that situation. She was inconsolable. She couldn’t imagine how she would have reacted had someone been there. Her life would probably have never been in jeopardy because both Max and Acro were much bigger than she was. There would have been no way they would have allowed her to hurt herself. But she quite possibly could have said enough terrible things that they wouldn’t want to talk to her again. It was a defense mechanism to lash out at others, even if they were trying to help. It just wouldn’t have been a good thing to have gone into the circus that day. Plus, she couldn’t allow herself to be seen so weak. Even if that was exactly what she was doing now. She almost felt like an entirely different person right now. She felt like a scared little kid, and she didn’t like it.]

…! Ah. 

[That was a very good point. Grief had been a powerful emotion but being lonely was a miserable feeling too. There really was no winning, and Acro was right. People couldn’t live like that, it was maddening. So then what should she do? Maybe running from her problem wasn’t the answer. Facing it head on had been extremely difficult too. Maybe there would be another way for her to get through it. Running would only give her the luxury to continue to be weak. In order to be strong. In order to be perfect, she would have to learn how to more properly combat these feelings. And deal with life when it was not so perfect. This was all easier said than done. She really didn’t know how to.]

I know it is hard to understand. I don’t really understand it myself, but that is just how it is. I can’t change what has been done.

I don’t know how to proceed then, Ken. I’m not sure where to go from here. Things would just be so much easier if you let me do them my way. I know my way isn’t the right way… At least things will be go back to the way they were. At this point I’d welcome that. I miss the normalcy of my old life. 

[She listened to his solution with interest. That might work. In that moment of thought it seemed as if she would more than consider what he offered. She almost seemed as if she decided that his idea was exactly how it was going to go down anyways.]

… Even if I know I’ll miss you guys a lot. And… I know I’ll eventually cave in and come back. I like you guys too much to stay away forever. But I definitely need some time for myself to… I really don’t know. I just need to regain myself again. 

I-I’ll come back again. But until I do, I don’t exist. Is that… better? Can we try that? I’ll… try to say goodbye to Max, but if I don’t manage that… I’ll write. I can do that. I do hope he understands… You’ll… help him to understand this right? That it isn’t personal, and that I love him, and that I still want his friendship. He is my best friend after all. It is just… a break. I need space for me to get better. 

She is an angel indeed, Ken. She’s my hero, and she truly is an amazing detective. And I promise. I swear on my name, Franziska von Karma. And I can’t… thank you enough for what you’ve done here. I’m glad to know I’m not crazy. They all seem to think I am, but… they just don’t understand the situation. You’re the only one aside from myself that actually knows everything. Entirely from my perspective of course, but I certainly haven’t stretched any truth. Damn… you know more about me than pretty much anyone now. This is almost awkward. I do hope I’ve made no mistake in trusting you with such sensitive information. I’d have to absolutely crush you beyond repair. 

[She smiled to the man, obviously joking. She was just trying to show some signs that the real Franziska was still in her somewhere. For her sake, and to prove to the both of them that the person she was hadn’t completely faded away. Even if she was acting so different right now, she was and would always be Franziska von Karma; prosecuting prodigy. Plus, if she hadn’t trusted him in the first place, she never would have spoke. Acro was a great man, and an even better friend.]

Hmph! I am calm. Perfectly calm even. Wouldn’t you be angry too? He has a lot of nerve. 

…

-Acro had only wanted to remind her. He did not want people who knew of his crime to forget it after all. If people forgot about his crimes then what? He would feel even more guilty probably.-

I…I only reminded you because I don’t want you thinking i’m a saint or anything. I feel as though people should see me for what I’ve done and not my personality. It’s a kind of punishment that I feel I deserve to have about my head. If I went about acting like it never happened then that wouldn’t be fair to those I’ve hurt along the way.

-He was the type of person that tried to face a problem head on.-

You will be out of here before you know it. At least you’re already sitting up and talking now.

…

No one is truly perfect, Franziska. No one can be, and yet everyone is in their own way.. In time, you will be able to forgive yourself for this.. you will heal. You will never forget it though of course. It was a horrible mistake. But it was not your fault. You lost control, just like you told me. 

That’s only debatable for you it seems. As i’m only telling you the truth. Refuse to believe me all you want but we do care for you. 

You’re welcome…

-He sighed softly as she seriously thought about his question. He wouldn’t think that anyone could stand being truly alone in this world.. of course people liked to be alone sometimes…but all the time? He wouldn’t be able to stand it. He had a hard time seeing anyone being able to.-

I..understand how hard it must be to feel the things that you’re feeling now. I know how much it must hurt. I’m sorry if I’ve added to that overwhelming pile. I really don’t know what you should be feeling… if it were me though, I would be less angry than sad.

-He smiled nervously when she glared at him. He probably shouldn’t have mentioned her future selves.-

I’m sorry, I won’t mention them again.

Yes, we will… wait for your return together..

-Acro wouldn’t have been embarrassed even if she mentioned it. Over the last few years he had accepted a few things. It was relieving to cry, occasionally anyway. He got too worked up and his emotions would overwhelm him sometimes.-

-He watched her shake her head and sigh. Did she not believe him?-

…

Ahh..even if you were that way towards him… he probably understands why you were like that now. He might have even known back then, that you only reacted that way because of your father.

-He silently sighed yet again as she talked about her father. He was kind of thankful… that he had not been raised in that way. He wondered how Franziska would have turned out if her father had just left her somewhere like his own did to him.-

It’s.. not too late. I know you’re angry at your brother now… and you think that you hate him.. I think you’ll get past this though and eventually forgive him. I think that would be the best thing that you could do anyway. For yourself if not for him. He must have.. been hurting on the inside so much.. to even consider that as a serious option.

Sometimes, there’s nothing that you can do for someone who’s hurting so much. Some people… would rather suffer in silence then burden anyone else with their problems. At least you were there for him, until the last few moments he made his decision. Who knows, maybe he even decided against it because of you. He had no idea how you would react. Or that you would find out about it as soon as you did.

-He frowned as she gripped his hand tighter. Perhaps if she cried she would feel better. Holding all those emotions inside herself must be so hard.-

If you were not good enough, he wouldn’t have come back, he wouldn’t have come to the hospital worried and scolded you.

Please do not think of yourself as worthless, because you’re not.

-He watched as a few tears fell from her face, it still wasn’t enough. Maybe when he left later, when she was all alone. She would cry enough to ease her heart. Even if it was only a little.-

What he’s done… had nothing to do with you Franziska. I understand that certain people would connect you with him of course.. I know you do not wish to be associated with such a man.. even if he’s your father.

…

He told you that… that he would never see you as anything but a murderer’s daughter?

In time maybe he’ll change his thoughts about that. In time he’ll realize that you’re nothing like your father. It’s unfair that he said that to you.

You are not pathetic or weak. Just being where you are now makes you strong. Strong enough. Giving up makes you weak. And you’re still here aren’t you? And besides even the strongest people have weak moments some time in their lives.

-He really didn’t want to comment about her wishing that her father was dead. That opinion was her’s, and her’s alone.-

I don’t think your brother thinks of you as a burden. he’s alive now, he didn’t give in. He will get past all this in due time. 

-She was right about her thoughts, Max and Acro would have ever allowed her to hurt herself. If only she had gone to them. to anybody that could have helped her.-

-He smiled softly when she said that she would definitely come back.-

I know you do, Franziska. take all the time you need. I could tell you that Max and myself will pretend you don’t exist but that would be a lie. I’ll help him understand as much as I can.

I’m very thankful to that Angel then. Perhaps i’ll get to meet her eventually.

You’re welcome.. I’m glad to have helped you even if only a little. of course you’re not crazy.

-He laughed a bit. He knew more about her than anyone? He smiled more when she threatened him and smiled jokingly.-

Your secrets are always safe with me, Franziska.

I would be angry too, but you’re making the machine go a bit crazy.

askaceattorney:

Dear Anonymous,

That’s impossible.  Besides the fact they’d never hurt anyone, one of those boys is in a coma and the other one is a paraplegic.  Please don’t start any rumors.

The Berry Big Circus was a family.  There were arguments, sure, but no one would go and kill someone else.  I don’t know who killed me but it had to be someone from outside.

-Russel Berry

-sobs-]]

mattengarde:

//idek 8u
 

THANK YOU <33333333]]

bitesizedprodigy:

acro-kendingling:

bitesizedprodigy replied to your photoset: [[okay before bed I need to post this as well….

//-blinks-

No Franzy, it’s not what you think!

It’s much worse better ;D ]]

// I’d say. Why you’d compromise your manhood by allowing him to carry you bridal style baffles even me. 

Just be careful, Ken. You’d take quite a pounding if you fell from that height. 

[[ fjkdnsfksdkj

Ahh… I-I’m sure you won’t have to worry about that…]]

//-blinks-

No Franzy, it’s not what you think!

It’s much worse better ;D ]]

[[okay before bed I need to post this as well. There used to be a free download version of it but it’s gone. Anyone know where I can find it? I’ll pay you in fanart but only one and it will probably be a doodle. ]]

[[Okay, wanted to do this since I saw Alex make prison Matt. Though I can’t animate them after editing. Also I couldn’t edit the tiara headpiece off because it looks wrong to me. People should draw him with his hair down for me too and i’ll love you forever. i suck at editing i hope this looks okay]]

aboyandhispuppet:

…

…….

DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN A WORTHLESS PIECE LIKE YOU WOULDN’T KNOW ANYTHING!

WELL, ALRIGHT… I’LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT. I’LL LAY OFF THE PRETTY BOY  HIM. FOR NOW ANYWAYS.

…

(I should have known…)

You really didn’t know? He hasn’t been around Regina in a while now.